


If Your Strife Strikes At Your Sleep

by Nevanna



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15692604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: Numair has a lot of reasons to suspect that his new lover is running from something.





	If Your Strife Strikes At Your Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of an AU that I've been devising, in which, after Roger (apparently) died, Alex was sent on a mission to some distant part of Tortall, where Numair was studying and/or hiding from Ozorne. Alex is supposed to be in his early twenties at the end of _In The Hand of the Goddess_ ; for the purposes of this AU, I've tweaked the timeline to make Numair about the same age.
> 
> The title is from the song "Winter Winds" by Mumford & Sons.

The last candle still flickers in one corner of the room, throwing its faint light onto the walls. Shadows waver across Numair’s bed, and over the man who shares it.

On their first night together, Alex kissed his way down Numair’s chest and stomach before enveloping his member in soft, wet heat and the fiendish, unrelenting motions of lips and tongue. Much later, as soon as Numair could form a coherent sentence, he asked, “Where in the names of all the gods did you learn to do _that_?”

“It was part of my training at the palace,” Alex said with a smirk.

“I’m not sure whether you’re serious.”

Alex turned away and reached for his clothes. “Neither am I.”

“Next time we see each other, you ought to let me know whether you’ve figured it out.” Numair hadn’t realized, until that moment, how much he wanted there to _be_ a next time, let alone any of the times that followed, but he hasn’t regretted a single one of them. Alex is an eager and imaginative lover, and has a sharp mind to go with his lovely face and body. And since he could be summoned back to Corus at any time, why shouldn’t they make the most of the time that they have?

Tonight, Alex has fallen asleep first, leaving Numair to lie awake beside him. At first, he had dismissed the comment about palace training as a saucy joke, just as he tried to put aside his curiosity about Alex’s fascinating and mysterious scars, which practically hissed with arcane energy, even as their bearer claimed not to recognize them.

Even when Alex suggested possibilities for magical experimentation in bed, his almost desperate excitement wasn’t unfamiliar. Ozorne’s face used to blaze with a similar hunger whenever they devised some new game of light and thought and sensation. But those games had come from a fellow mage’s desire to share new discoveries, to join their minds and powers as they joined their bodies, and – Numair realizes bitterly – an opportunity for Ozorne to identify a potential enemy’s weaknesses. When Alex insisted, _“You can do whatever you want to me, I can take it,”_ he must have been looking for something else altogether. 

In isolation, most of those hints, and others, could be explained away. But taken together, they begin to form an unsettling picture of Alex’s life at Court. Perhaps Numair isn’t the only one running from something… or someone.

It wouldn’t be difficult, here and now, to find out what troubles Alex without having to ask: to brush two fingertips across his temple and slide carefully into the tangle of his thoughts, to discover the secrets that have twined together and pulled him here, and the ones that still tie him to his past. And if Alex sensed the intrusion, it’s unlikely that he would resist. But just because it would be _easy_ doesn’t make it _necessary_ , and Numair has never been one to take such liberties simply because he can get away with them. He’s seen what that attitude has done to other mages. 

Besides, it’s not as if the two of them need to know everything about each other. It’s not as if they’re planning a future together. It’s not as if…

Alex shudders and whimpers beside him. The words sound a little too much like _please_ and _I can’t_ and _stop me_ , and Numair whispers reassurances and combs steady fingers through Alex's hair until the lines in his forehead smooth and he snuggles closer with a sigh. 

Nobody who has seen Sir Alexander in a fight would doubt that he means to keep his oath to protect Tortall and its people. Numair isn’t sure whether that includes him – it’s been a long time since he knew _where_ his home was – but tonight, he finds himself wishing that he could promise to protect Alex in return.

He extinguishes the candle with a single thought, and tries to match his breathing with Alex’s until the rhythm sends him into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked what you just saw, you can check out the [knight and mage AU](https://forest-of-stories.tumblr.com/tagged/knight-and-mage-au) tag on my tumblr, which contains a lot of disorganized scenes and headcanons from the same continuity, mostly from Alex's POV. Thanks for reading! <3


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